


10.10.2014

by spicyboyfriend



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Gangsters, Alternate Universe - Mob, Fake Character Death, Gang Violence, Inspired by Lotto, Inspired by Monster, Lost Love, M/M, Past Character Death, Past Relationship(s)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-24
Updated: 2016-08-24
Packaged: 2018-08-10 00:08:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 14,502
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7822618
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spicyboyfriend/pseuds/spicyboyfriend
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Lu Han’s eyes crossed again, the swelling of his cheeks and his lips too much for him to bear, but he mustered up enough energy to crane his neck and turn enough to find the person they were all staring at. A part of him knew. A part of him recognized that voice.</p>
            </blockquote>





	10.10.2014

**Author's Note:**

> i couldn't think of a better title so why not the date Luhan filed a lawsuit against SM to make myself sad hahaha why did i start to ship this when one of them aint even there anymore anyways im bitter as hell anyways this is my first kpop fanfic, and i proofread it to the best of my abilities. if you catch any mistakes, please let me know! i mixed up their hair colors a few times since i was using both lotto and monster as points of reference :')

Trunks are stuffy, Lu Han thought while kicking the top of it once more. The car's engine roared in his ears, fingers numb and itching for circulation as he wiggled them behind his back and lifted his legs again. If he kicked it hard enough, maybe it would open and he'd be able to catch somebody's attention. After all, his family was in Seoul on vacation, and the streets were jam packed at night. If he opened the trunk, surely a police officer would find him and stop these two people that seemingly had him tied up and thrown in the trunk only a second after grabbing him. Lu Han always thought he was more of a muscular man than people perceived him to be, but the truth was that these two strangers had taken him down in a fraction of a second. How humiliating.

He kicked it again, leg cramping in the awkward position he was in and how hard he slammed the flat part of his foot against the trunk. For a second, Lu Han thought he could feel cool air filling the trunk, and he kicked it again, turning to watch the crack of the trunk beginning to budge. Hope fluttered in his chest, deafening him to the fact that the car had stopped moving, and the engine silenced. Perhaps it the blood rushing through his body now, pulse thrumming loud in his temples that kept him from hearing it. Either way, when he lifted his foot again to kick the top, it disappeared, moving upwards as the two faces of the men who took him reappeared. They looked down, eyebrows furrowed and grimaces on their faces.

"He untied his legs." The one on the right lifted his hand and smacked the other in the back of the head. "You didn't tie it enough, dummy."

"Don't hit!" The other snapped back. "Anyway, you were supposed to knock him out before we tied him up, so if anything, you're the dummy."

"Just help me get him out."

"He's going to kick me."

" _ Aigoo!  _ Then tie his legs up again, Jongin!" Lu Han furrowed his brows at that proclamation, kicking his legs wildly again and watching as the darker haired man leaned over to hold his throat. The skinny fingers against his pulse tightened, and Lu Han slowed to a stop, swallowing thickly as if to ensure he still had some sort of leeway in through his windpipe. The grip on him loosened, Lu Han feeling a rope tying around his ankles in a tight fashion, same as his wrists. Eventually, the blood ceased to circulate through his toes, and wiggling them felt like moving heavy rocks in his shoes. He was lifted out of the trunk by his legs, the other man grabbing onto his wrists and lifting him out before he grabbed Lu Han by his chest and threw him over his shoulder. Jongin followed behind them, eyes tracing over Lu Han's thin body strewn over his friend's shoulders.

Lu Han groaned against the thick towel tied around his mouth, lips parted as drool slipped past the corners of his lips and soaked into the towel. He tried to swallow again, the action his only lifeline keeping him from completely passing out in shock. This couldn't have been happening, certainly not to him, and not during something that was supposed to be a relaxing time for him and his family. Of course, they hadn't been back to Seoul in almost three years, running away from the town in fear of their safety, but they figured with the increased police activity, and safety measures put in place by his father, they would have been safe from situations exactly like this one. 

His jaw ached, Lu Han noticed, as he felt himself being thrown down into a rickety old chair. While his eyes struggled to focus on the room around him with dim lighting and loud noises, he felt his hands being pulled even further back than they were meant to go, the rope against his skin straining and tugging at his flesh while digging in at the same time. He dared to look back, finding Jongin pulling his hands over a post and locking them in place. Then a jerking at his legs alerted him of the other man’s hands at his ankles, pulling them apart after the rope loosened and then immediately tying his ankles to either leg of the chair. Words fell short in his chest, only loud moans and shouts managing to muffle through the towel-- or maybe it was a cloth-- tied around his mouth and keeping from breathing properly. A loud shout came from beside them, a tableful of men throwing their hands up in frustration and anger while one single man stood up and threw down his money, grinning widely nodding.

“Cheater! You cheated, I saw you counting cards!”

“You can’t count cards in poker, idiot.”

Lu Han recognized both of those voices, much like he did with Jongin’s once he spoke.

This was his old gang.

Lu Han tried to kick, shifting his body weight until he felt a rope around his torso, pulling him back into the chair behind him and tying him in place. Lu Han’s heart lurched in his chest when he looked back at the table to find all of the people he had known before, a few faces missing, like Zitao’s and Minseok’s, though it seemed the table of ex-friend’s were getting along just fine without them. Lu Han relaxed into the rope behind him, hands wiggling again to find his circulation had increased. He could barely feel blood rushing through his fingers, enough to calm him down, at least.

“Did you bring back the little prince?” Baekhyun’s voice came from the far end of the table, his eyes perking up to find Lu Han tied tightly to the chair. His eyes lingered for only a moment, and then they returned to the game, Jongin and the other man returning to the table after only a second of ensuring Lu Han couldn’t get out. Jongin pushed Sehun, dark haired and wide eyed, out of his seat and plopped himself down, earning an annoyed noise from Sehun. He made no moves to push Jongin back though, and instead sat himself down between Yixing and Joonmyun.

“By the way,” Jongin began, “you  _ can  _ count cards in poker. And he did.” Jongin shot a glare towards Sehun. “All right, 110,000 won pay in. Let’s go, throw it in. This is gonna be a good one.”

“Aish, I don’t want to play when Jongin is in.” Chanyeol pushed himself out of his seat, throwing down the cards from the last game and walking away to find Lu Han tied tightly in his seat. Lu Han’s eyes widened, pulling forward from the chair only to find Chanyeol pushing him back. Joonmyun joined Chanyeol in front of Lu Han, their eyes cold and emotionless, though a part of Lu Han could tell they were both bitter. The others at the table continued, Kyungsoo and Jongin competing for the pot, which had nearly tripled in size due to mindless bidding and betting by the others, though Kyungsoo already knew he had the better hand than everybody at the table. “Why’d we bring  _ him  _ in anyways?”

“Tipped off at the airport.” Yixing said this time. He took a long swig of the bottle beside him, some nameless alcohol brand covered in a paper bag. “Remember, we said if he ever came back, we’d have to kill him.”

“I’m sick just looking at him.” Chanyeol snapped. Lu Han cowered in his seat. This wasn’t the Chanyeol he had known before, the Chanyeol that cared about him and told him he would be there for Lu Han through thick and thin, and this most definitely wasn’t the cold-but-still-tender Joonmyun he had grown to appreciate as a friend when they were in the gang together.

Yes, Lu Han had been in their gang, though it appeared to be more of a club now. The building around them was nice, almost businesslike, and most of them wore suits or button up shirts, though Lu Han noted Jongdae was in a lazy t-shirt and jeans, which didn’t surprise him. Jongdae had always had a sort of relaxed demeanor to him, if not joking, so it made sense that he would be like this, even though the setting around him was serious and organized.

The room was filled again with shouting as Kyungsoo gently laid down his cards, reaching into the pot and taking the money, which earned not only groans of annoyance from the other members, but loud objections from Jongin beside him.

“Che, Kyungsoo! You’re supposed to let me win, then we share the winnings.”

“Maybe I’m tired of putting my cards down early.” Kyungsoo said, neatly organizing his bills while the others threw fits of irritation and pushed out. Baekhyun didn’t stop to look at Lu Han the way Joonmyun and Chanyeol were, and instead started for the opposite end of the room, towards a cage of chickens perched lazily in nests. They were fighting chickens, though, meant for fights they could bet on when they were bored.

“Chanyeol?” Baekhyun called. Chanyeol looked up and nodded, pulling bills out of his pocket. Betting was what they did best amongst one another, especially since they had so much money to blow. Chanyeol always bet on the worst chicken. He let Baekhyun win most of the time.

Joonmyun crouched down to catch Lu Han’s attention, pushing his chin up and moving his head as if studying Lu Han. His eyes traced around Lu Han’s soft jawline, his cheekbones and then his eyes before he stood up and rolled his eyes, then walking away.

Obviously Lu Han knew from the start that the environment he was being kidnapped into wouldn’t be warm and comforting at all, but a part of him knew it was worse to be kidnapped by people he used to consider friends. Blinking away tears, Lu Han sat up and groaned against the cloth in his mouth. His mouth was dry now, all of his spit slipping past the cloth and nearly dripping off the bottom of his chin. Jongin glanced at him, picking up a bottle and throwing it in the direction of his legs.

“Keep it down, we need to figure out what to do with you.”

Kyungsoo’s eyes darted over to Lu Han.

“We should tell him.”

“Tell who?”

“Minseok.” Kyungsoo mumbled the name lowly. “You know what’s going to happen to Lu Han. We all do.”

“You know nothing.” Jongin snapped, grabbing a cigarette from his pocket and sticking it between his lips. “ _ If _ we end up taking him in, maybe they’ll just rough him up and send him home. No harm done.”

Kyungsoo shot Jongin a knowing look. Jongin rolled his eyes.

“All right,  _ maybe  _ it won’t be like that. Maybe they’ll rough him up a little and send home his hand. Or a leg. Ear?”

“We can’t do that to him.” Kyungsoo objected. “I refuse to.”

“I think if the higher-ups decide that’s what they want to do with him, we don’t have a choice.”

“Where is Minseok anyway?”

Jongin shrugged, turning his attention to Jongdae. Jongdae nodded in the direction of the stairs. Sehun leaned back in his seat, arms crossed over his chest while he cocked his head and stared at Lu Han.

How odd it was to stare at Lu Han tied up and defenseless this way, considering he and Lu Han had been so close before, even been more than friends nearly at one point, and now they were like strangers. Lu Han had that sort of reputation with people in the club, and definitely with Minseok. Hearing Kyungsoo and Jongin talk about telling Minseok that Lu Han was there almost made him jealous. Of course everybody thought Minseok and Lu Han were closer than Lu Han and Sehun had ever been, and that was the way it had always been. Sehun stood up, approaching Lu Han while Lu Han’s eyes struggled to focus on the tall figure in front of him. His eyes wandered up the body, realizing at the throat that it was Sehun staring him down from in front of him. The cloth loosened around his lips, Sehun tearing it off and dropping it at his side with a quiet remark of disgust.

If Lu Han didn’t know better, he would almost feel relieved at the sight of Sehun, but he did know better, and he did know it couldn’t have meant anything good. Sehun’s hands balled up into fists at his sides, knuckles white through scabbed over wounds and scars. Lu Han took a deep breath of air through his mouth, swallowing thickly through his dry throat before he finally felt normal again. As normal as he could be, at least. Before Lu Han even had the chance to think of saying something, Sehun’s open palm came down across his white cheek, skin immediately reddening to a light scarlet color. The entire room fell silent at the sound of the slap, save for the chickens squawking and shrieking in the background. Jongin almost stepped in, but Kyungsoo stopped him and shook his head. Joonmyun didn’t move to stop Sehun either, despite the fact that he stood beside him and definitely had an advantage over Sehun.

Lu Han took short, splitting breaths before he felt Sehun’s hand tangle in his curly hair and pull his head back. Again, he smacked him. Jongdae silently left the table, an expression of disgust on his face while he headed upstairs to his room. He wasn’t the type to be involved or observe these kinds of tortuous things that the others enjoyed taking part in. It just wasn’t his style, and truth be told, it felt wrong doing that to Lu Han in the first place. Jongdae remembered being introduced to Lu Han. He remembered thinking Lu Han was such a nice person. Even if Lu Han abandoned them in an important chapter of their life as a gang, he couldn’t just hold it against him like that. He made sure to slam the door leading upstairs behind him for extra measure, though he knew he would hear about how weak he was later from the rest of them.

Lu Han focused his eyes up towards Sehun again, their eyes meeting as Sehun gritted his teeth and practically snarled at him, his hand in the air brought down with the force of a speeding bullet. It practically did the same damage. Just before he hit Lu Han, Sehun tightened his fingers into a fist and slammed it down on Lu Han’s cheek. The smallest of whimpers left Lu Han’s lips, his eyes crossing from the pain. He willed himself to look up at Sehun again. Another punch to the same cheek.

It felt like this went on for a lifetime. Joonmyun watched as Sehun lifted his hand every time, and each time his heart told him to stop him, to place himself in front of Lu Han and stop the punishment, but another part of his heart told him that Lu Han deserved this. They had banned Lu Han for a reason, and a good one at that. Leaving the gang and mob life was practically impossible, and yet Lu Han wanted out. Yifan had failed, and suffered for it, his life ended tragically short at the hands of the higher-ups and their decision that he was a threat to their security. Lu Han, the second to want to leave, kept it a secret he shared with only Minseok. And Minseok asked the gang for their help in smuggling him back to China, where those higher couldn’t find him, all while simultaneously faking Lu Han’s death in Seoul. It was a grand vision, Joonmyun remembered. They had all acted out the scene so meticulously that he almost believed it himself. Lu Han was dead. To all of them, he was dead. After Lu Han was Zitao, who mysteriously disappeared after a botched deal on Jeju Island. Nobody dared to look for him. Zitao had expressed a desire to leave just a week earlier. They all sort of knew what happened to him, so they kept it hush-hush and never dared to ask where he had gone.

A sharp cry from Lu Han brought Joonmyun back. He reached his hand out to Sehun’s shoulder, only to earn a grunt of dissatisfaction from Sehun. He shoved Joonmyun away, and the others stood up quickly to defend him, even Jongin walking towards Sehun and shoving him in the chest.

“Don’t take it out on the rest of us.” Jongin warned. “And don’t take it out on Lu Han anymore. You’re going to hurt him, and then what are the higher-ups gonna say? If we take him back and show them this damaged product?” Sehun jerked his gaze away.

“I don’t give a shit what they say. They should be proud of us for making him suffer for what he’s done!”

“You will care when they make  _ your  _ blood pay for his blood lost.” Kyungsoo reminded.

“He deserves to die.” Sehun snapped, coming face to face with Jongin, though Joonmyun stood right beside Jongin with the same intimidating expression on his face. Shortly afterwards, Baekhyun came beside him, arms crossed over his chest as he pushed Sehun away. Intense stares met Sehun, but Sehun wasn’t scared of the rest of them. He was more than enough to take them  _ all  _ on, even if Jongdae returned from upstairs and threatened him as well. Minseok too. Joonmyun took a heavy breath, turning to find Lu Han spitting up blood from his bruised lips, the drool hanging off of his bottom lip as he looked back up to meet Joonmyun’s gaze. Joonmyun had seen that expression before. He had seen it so many times when Lu Han was in the gang. There was no fear in Lu Han’s eyes. Only the will to keep his eyes open, alert. Lu Han’s eyes flickered from Joonmyun to Sehun, their eyes locking again as Sehun growled and shoved past Jongin, Baekhyun, and Joonmyun. Baekhyun and Jongin toppled on one another, and Joonmyun fell to the side, watching helplessly as Sehun lifted his fist once more.

“Stop!” A voice rang out from upstairs, all of them flinching at the sound of the resounding voice above them. Sehun looked up, his eyes widened before he furrowed his brows and sneered. Turning on his heel, Sehun stomped off in the direction of the exit and slammed the door behind him. None of them bothered to follow Sehun. He would be back soon enough, angry as ever, and bitter as hell.

Joonmyun stood up with the help of Kyungsoo, and Jongin and Baekhyun shortly afterwards, wiping their bodies off and then turning their attention upstairs. Lu Han’s eyes crossed again, the swelling of his cheeks and his lips too much for him to bear, but he mustered up enough energy to crane his neck and turn enough to find the person they were all staring at. A part of him knew. A part of him recognized that voice.

Minseok rushed downstairs, running up to Lu Han and reaching his hands out so they hovered over his cheeks and his lips. He wanted to touch him, to find out if he was real or if this was all a dream. Heart thudding in his chest, Minseok flickered his eyes up to Lu Han’s.

“Lu-ge?” He whispered. Lu Han’s heart flipped in his chest, butterflies in his stomach bursting through in waves as he managed half of a smile. Minseok’s eyebrows knitted together in confusion, but it didn’t last long. His hands moved to Lu Han’s ankles, untying him despite Jongin’s protests about how long it took them to tie him up. “You really tied him up like this? Like the rest of them?”

“He  _ is  _ like the rest of them.” Chanyeol said, rubbing the back of his neck. “We risked our lives for him, and this is how he thanks us? By coming back? What would they do to us if he talked, if he said that we helped him escape?”

“He wouldn’t!” Minseok snapped, and finally loosened Lu Han’s hands from the post behind him. Lu Han leaned forward, falling out of his seat and holding the side of his face with both hands. Minseok reappeared by his side only a moment later, lifting him off of the ground easily. Lu Han felt light as air. “You know he would rather die than risk our lives after everything.”

“Then why didn’t he?” Yixing mumbled.

Minseok huffed, swallowing his words as he held Lu Han in his arms, off of the ground and close to his chest.

“Where are you taking him?” Chanyeol interjected. Minseok turned and headed upstairs, struggling to keep his balance while holding Lu Han in his arms. “You can’t be serious. You’re taking him to your room?”

“If any of you hurt Lu Han again,” Minseok turned once he reached the top of the stairs, facing them all with Lu Han in his arms, “I’ll kill you.”

“He’s broken the rules of our arrangement.” Joonmyun spoke now. “We agreed if he ever came back, we would have to kill him to hold his silence.”

“Then why didn’t you kill him as soon as you saw him?” Minseok challenged. The others faltered, Kyungsoo and Jongin both glancing at one another and biting their tongues. All of them knew the answer why. They all knew Lu Han would always be one of them, just like Yifan was, and just like Zitao. Minseok disappeared without another word.

Behind the door upstairs stood Jongdae, ready with alcohol and bandages. They returned to Minseok’s room, Jongdae and Minseok both falling silent while they laid Lu Han down on Minseok’s bed. The groans leaving Minseok’s lips were low, muffled by his swollen and busted lips. Minseok returned to the door and locked it behind him to ensure the others couldn’t follow, and to keep any unwanted visitors out. They both exchanged looks, Jongdae’s expression uneasy and unsettled.

“They’re right.” He mumbled lowly. “We agreed he could never come back to Seoul.”

Minseok bit his tongue and refused to say anything. Everybody was right, but that didn’t mean Minseok would go along with it now, not by a long shot. Instead, he focused on dabbing small amounts of alcohol on Lu Han’s lips, which were split and bleeding. The high point of his cheek was split as well, probably from Sehun’s fist meeting his cheekbones.

Minseok knew they were right, but he swore he would protect Lu Han no matter what, even if it meant giving up his own life in the process.

As they said he would, Sehun returned just a few hours later with a woman on his arm, her voice incessant and annoying as he shoved her off as soon as they entered the building. Only Jongin and Kyungsoo remained in the quarters, both of them looking up at him and back down to the pot of cash they were splitting.

“Welcome baaaaack.” Jongin dragged out his words. Kyungsoo didn’t have anything to say, but his judging eyes lingered on the woman Sehun had brought back. “Cool down while you were gone?”

“Where’s Lu Han?”

“Far from you.” Jongin replied simply, earning a growl from Sehun across the room.

“Where is Lu Han?”

“Didn’t think it beared repeating, but for the hard of hearing, he’s  _ far away _ from  _ you _ .” Jongin beamed. Sehun rushed to the couch where Jongin and Kyungsoo sat, their legs crossed underneath them like children as they split their cash. Sehun reached forward, his fingers wrapping around Jongin’s throat and holding him tightly.

“Answer me.”

“Drop him.” Kyungsoo said effortlessly, and that was when Sehun realized Kyungsoo had a knife against his throat. It was a dangerous thing, his knife. Kyungsoo said it could slip through people’s flesh like butter, it was so sharp. Sehun marveled at the thought of it when Kyungsoo would talk about it, but with it so close to his artery, he stopped and swallowed heavily. Dropping Jongin, he jerked his hand back. Jongin rubbed his neck as if Sehun had really done enough to hurt him. It would bruise later though. Jongin always bruised like a peach.

“Minseok said if you touch Lu Han again, he’ll kill you.” Kyungsoo warned. Sehun rolled his eyes as Jongin lifted a finger.

“Actually, he said if  _ any  _ of us lay a hand on Lu Han, he’ll kill that person.” Jongin said matter-of-factly, and Kyungsoo kicked him. “What? I’m just saying.”

“Minseok won’t always be here to protect him.” Sehun snapped. “And what does he plan on doing with him? Hiding him in his room for the rest of his life? The higher-ups will find out about this, I’ll make sure they do.”

“You won’t.” Kyungsoo said easily.

“Che! And what makes you so sure?”

“Because all of us have agreed to keep silent about it until we can figure out what to do with him.”

“What to do with him?” Sehun echoed. “Have you forgotten that Lu Han broke the arrangement we had? Am I the only one that remembers it? And I didn’t agree to anything. They’ll know, I’ll make sure they know!”

“Sehun, let me ask you a question.” Kyungsoo said, dark eyes meeting Sehun’s own. Kyungsoo always had a way of intimidating the rest of them without needing to say much. His expressions hardly ever changed, even if he was happy or upset, so it made sense that Sehun swallowed hard and nodded as soon as Kyungsoo shot words towards him. “If we had done the same for Yifan and Zitao, would you be as passionate about ratting them out as you are for Lu Han?” Jongin’s jaw dropped considerably, words escaping him. Sehun said he never wanted to talk about his relationship with Lu Han again, and yet, here was Kyungsoo, fearless as ever, talking about it. Sehun’s cheeks darkened in anger and embarrassment. “Or are you angry and adamant about it because you hold a grudge against Lu Han? You know, for choosing Minseok over you.”

“Nobody chose  _ anybody  _ over me.” Sehun spat.

Jongin quirked a brow at Sehun, but returned his attention to the money in front of him. Kyungsoo hardly gave him a second glance either, uninterested in anything he had to say after that. Sehun left in a huff, grabbing the woman he brought in by her arm and leading her upstairs. He knew they wouldn’t end up doing anything, especially since she was coked out of her mind and would just end up passed out on his bed the moment she collapsed onto it. Sehun walked past Minseok’s room, stopping in front of it only long enough to bring his fist down on the door.

“You can’t hide him forever!”

In his room, Minseok flinched at the sound of Sehun’s harsh voice outside of the door, Jongdae having long gone and left Minseok to the mercy of Lu Han in his bedroom. Minseok settled on the couch on the opposite end of the room, pulling his knees up to his chest as he watched Lu Han slumber comfortably on his bed. How many times had he dreamed of something like this, both before and after Lu Han left the gang, before they had become something bigger than any of them could dream of?

The rustling sound of his sheets brought Minseok back, eyes darting for Lu Han on the bed as he shifted and focused on the ceiling above him. Lu Han blinked his eyes as if he were in a haze, remembering only Minseok’s face before he blacked out from the pain in his cheek. That was one thing he had been ashamed of since he was young: his low pain tolerance. It was unmistakably low, and considering he was in a gang before, ridiculously embarrassing. What kind of gang member couldn’t even take a hit without blacking out? Lu Han couldn’t.

But that was why he had Minseok. His best friend and... and what? Lover was too intimate of a word, and besides, they had never done anything like that anyways. Lu Han always said he was afraid it would hurt, and Minseok figured he meant the physical aspect of it (considering Lu Han’s low pain tolerance, it made sense that he was afraid), but Lu Han meant if they had done something like that, if they had been together for a night and felt each other’s sweat and warm breaths on bruised and beaten skin, he would have lost whatever desire to leave the gang. Truth be told, Minseok wanted Lu Han to leave. He appeared unhealthy most days, thin and depressed, and he rarely, if ever, acted like the old Lu Han who first joined the gang before Minseok. Actually seeing Lu Han leave hurt more than it should have, though.

A sharp pain shot through Lu Han’s cheek when he sat up and tried to move his mouth, a thick fluid filling his mouth again as he parted his lips enough to dip his finger in it. Blood. Shuddering breaths managed to escape him as he rushed to the wastebasket beside the bed, spitting up the hot, iron-rich liquid in large drops, almost heaving at the taste of it while he leaned against the wastebasket and spit out more. Strange fingers touched at his neck, pulling his curly hair away from his face. Without daring to find out who it was behind him, he heaved again, only blood spilling from the wound inside of his mouth. Eventually it stopped, the sting taking over his mouth as he fell back and pushed the garbage away from him. At the sight of the tall figure in front of him-- or maybe he only appeared tall because Lu Han was a tangled mess of limbs on the floor-- Lu Han shivered and willed himself to focus on the stranger. His eyes focused long enough to find Minseok standing there, only for a second though, before he retreated to the wastebasket and tied the bag up. He tossed it outside of the door, and then locked it behind him. Lu Han pushed himself up on unsteady legs, his hands trembling at his sides while the pounding in his cheek subsided for only a moment. His heart thudded heavily in his temples and made his head ache more than his cheek did.

Minseok turned around again, their gazes finally meeting after long, anxious seconds of silence. Lu Han parted his lips to say something, but felt more blood pool in the side of his cheek. He forced himself to swallow it down out of fear of ruining the moment. Minseok didn’t appear fazed by Lu Han, eyes almost dull and clouded over. He stepped forward uneasily, Lu Han steeling himself in place as he found Minseok trudging forward, slowly, surely, until they were close. Then the swift movement of Minseok’s hand in the air. Lu Han kept his gaze locked on Minseok’s face. If Minseok wanted to hit Lu Han, then... Lu Han would let him do it. He deserved it. Lu Han swallowed thickly at the thought of the pain that would shoot through his veins. Minseok’s eyes watered, tears spilling out of the corners and onto his cheeks before he bit his bottom lip and lowered his hand, shaking his head.

“Minseok, please-”

“Don’t.” Minseok interrupted quickly, Lu Han following Minseok across the room. “How could you come back? How could you come back to this!?” Minseok shouted, Lu Han feeling a ball in his throat at the sound of his aggravated tone. He stopped in his tracks. “We gave you a second chance at life! You wanted to run away from it all, and now you’re here again.”

“Please listen to me!”

“Listen to you? Defend yourself? No. No, you don’t get to defend yourself. You had something none of the others had.” Minseok shook his head. “You had another life, you could have lived without coming back to all of this. Can you imagine what Yifan, what Zitao would have given for a chance like this?”

Lu Han shuddered at the mention of their names. Zitao had gone after Lu Han had, though “gone” was putting it nicely. From the short interactions Lu Han had with Minseok after his departure, he was able to extract the message that Zitao had disappeared after wanting to leave in the same fashion as Lu Han. Yifan was a message to all of them. Leave, and die. But that only fueled Lu Han’s flame brighter and made him more anxious to get the hell out of there.

Late nights before he left consisted of Lu Han begging Minseok to leave with him.

“ _ We can start someplace else. Have a family. Friends. Be happy with me, Minseok. _ ”

“ _ I can’t. _ ”

“ _ Why not? Aren’t you happy with me? Don’t you want to be with me? _ ”

“ _ Don’t guilt me. You know I love you. That’s why I can’t follow you. You have to leave on your own. _ ”

Lu Han resisted the urge to bring that up again. Only a minute after seeing Minseok again, they were already fighting. Talk about some lousy luck. Lu Han waited for something, anything from Minseok, but nothing came. Their breathing synchronized, Lu Han taking a cautious step forward, but moving away when he noticed Minseok shy away from him.

“Why did you have to ruin it?” Minseok spoke softly. Lu Han’s heart tore in half at the sound of his words.

“Minseok, I didn’t.... I don’t know, okay? My dad, h-he said we could come back after everything, and I just... I thought he was right. I thought maybe it had been long enough. He said he worked it out with them, that he paid them off, and-”

“Your dad is in more shit with the mob than he’s ever been before.” Minseok said, stomping towards the desk across the room and opening a drawer with a key around his throat. “I was going to send you this letter in a day. A day! It said everything you need to know, everything about your dad and what he did. It was a warning!”

“W-what?” Lu Han said. “What are you-”

“Your father owed a ridiculous amount of money to the higher-ups.” Minseok said. “Almost 1,000,000,000 won.”

That didn’t even sound like a real number. “What?!” Lu Han shouted, Minseok shushing him.

“You don’t know who’s walking out in the halls, don’t be so loud!” He hissed.

“But how?! Why?! He didn’t borrow money for anything-”

“Your father had a gambling problem.” Minseok said, the words stabbing straight into Lu Han’s heart. “You knew he did. I knew. We all knew. Before you had to leave Seoul, before everything, he borrowed money for gambling. The interest went through the roof after you “died”. They said if they couldn’t have your life, they would have it through money. Your father was on a watchlist in the airports. Every single person in there knew who your father was, and  _ who  _ wanted him.” Minseok stuttered long. “He knew.... He knew what would happened if he flew back here. Did your mother come with you?”

“Yes, but when they took me, I.... It was just my dad and I.” Lu Han trailed off knowingly, swallowing the ball built up in his throat as he felt panic rising in his chest. “He.... He was going to give me back... to settle his debts?”

“He must have known what you were worth alive.” Minseok continued without stopping to look at Lu Han’s lost expression. “I remember someone talking about it.” Minseok spoke as if he was trying to remember, eyes searching in the texture of the ceiling above him, but the sound of Lu Han’s quiet voice broke through his thoughts instead.

“I’m.... I’m payment.”

Minseok’s expression softened.

“Lu Han.” He spoke, and Lu Han’s heart ached at the sound of Minseok’s voice speaking his name. How long had it been since he heard him say it? Years, though it felt like his entire life. “Lu Han, your father was using you, but  _ we  _ found you first.”

“Jongin and Kyungsoo, they.... They took me just to get payment.”

“No.” Minseok shook his head. “Maybe they thought they were, at first. Your head has the biggest bounty on it in all of South Korea. But if they wanted to give you up, they would’ve taken you straight to the higher-ups, but... they brought you here instead.” Minseok paused. “They would still give up their lives for you. Don’t you see that?”

Lu Han held back tears by telling himself now wasn’t the right time to cry about anything. Minseok turned towards him now, taking a step forward. Lu Han looked down at his feet, Minseok taking that as consent to approach him. They finally ended up close, arm’s length apart as Lu Han steadied his breathing. Minseok’s hand moved from his side, slowly reaching up to Lu Han’s shoulder before he dared to venture higher, to his neck, his cheek, fingers ghosting over the skin uneasily. The broken wounds on his flesh looked like fire, clotted and red. A flare of anger hit Minseok at the thought of the others watching as Sehun did this to Lu Han, standing by while he beat someone who couldn’t put up an equal fight. Minseok knew the others were just upset that Lu Han was back after everything they had put themselves through all those years ago. He knew if Sehun hadn’t beaten Lu Han’s face so badly, he might have just slapped Lu Han too. His heart told him he wouldn’t.

“Minseok....” Lu Han warned carefully, his voice quiet in his throat. “I missed you.” Lu Han leaned forward, but Minseok placed his index finger between their lips and shook his head. Carefully, he pulled away and lowered his gaze to the ground instead of at Minseok. But Minseok pulled his chin up, fingers feather light and soft on his chin.

“Your lip is still busted.” Minseok explained. “I don’t want to hurt you.”

Leave it to Minseok to make Lu Han’s knees weak with affection as he nodded slowly, his cheeks bright pink and his pulse thumping loudly in his ears. God, if Minseok could hear what he did to him with only a few light touches, Lu Han would be ashamed. He was weak, weaker than he’d like to admit.

“Jongdae said everything should be healed in a week, maybe two.” Minseok brushed a piece of Lu Han’s hair behind his ear. “Though I don’t think we should keep you here for that long. I’ve started looking into ways to get you back to Beijing, back home.”

“N-no, I can’t go back.” Lu Han said. “Not after what my dad did. Where would I go? What would I do? I can’t live with him. They’ll know where I am.”

“I know people.” Minseok said. “Worse comes to worse, I’ll give you enough money to find a place. Go to a hotel until you get yourself an apartment, live in it on your own.”

“Alone? That’s bad luck, you know.” Lu Han said. Minseok could already see where this was going. When they were younger, he and Lu Han watched dramas more than he liked to admit, and their favorite drama started off with the death of a minor character who lived alone. Lu Han always said it was a sign that he and Minseok would just have to live together in order to take care of one another, but Minseok thought he wouldn’t mind living with Lu Han. “Minseok, I’m tired of running. I’m sick of hiding.”

“You lost the privilege to be sick of those things the moment you told me you wanted out.” Minseok said, his expression stony and cold. Lu Han shook his head.

“Don’t tell me you haven’t thought of leaving too. You know they don’t treat you right. They don’t treat you the way they should.”

“Actually,” Minseok began, “ever since you left, it seems as though things have changed. After Zitao went missing, even better.” Minseok sighed. “I’m not saying either of those events were good. They weren’t. I still miss Zitao. But with us, the higher-ups aren’t so bad. They treat us well. They gave us this mansion. Have you seen all of the rooms in this place? There’s enough space to get lost in a place like this.” Minseok opted to leave out the fact that there were three vacant rooms at the far end of the hall. He could live without having to remember the empty rooms which were clearly meant as a reminder to all of them of what could happen to each of them if they even thought of leaving. Yifan’s name printed on the snow white of the door ensured they would never forget. The lack of Zitao’s name on his door made it doubly as terrifying. Lu Han’s room kept them on their feet as well. Sehun said once the higher-ups told him there were cameras in Lu Han’s room, and only in his, in order to catch anybody walking in who may appear longing to leave as well.

They really were trapped, Minseok thought.

“Minseok.” Lu Han interjected suddenly. “Minseok, they... they know I’m alive now.”

Minseok froze in his spot. He hadn’t even thought of that possibility that they already knew. Lu Han’s father most likely had been taken by one of the other chapters. The higher-ups trusted Kibum and Jinki more than any of the others to retrieve their pay when they needed it, so they most likely had already found Lu Han’s father. Luckily, Kyungsoo and Jongin had taken Lu Han away from that.

But Lu Han’s father would insist his son was alive in order to pay his debts, which meant they would look for him.

“We have to get you out of here.” Minseok rushed across the room.

“And go where?”

“Anywhere but here!” Minseok said. “No time to pack. No time to pack clothes, just-- just have to go-!” His thoughts ran together in a jumbled mess of commands, of things he had to do. Packing clothes would be too suspicious. Minseok pointed at Lu Han as he crossed the room. “Lock the door behind me. When I come back, I’ll knock twice, pause, twice, pause, once. Okay?” Minseok demonstrated the knock on the door, Lu Han nodding and following him to the door before he locked it. Minseok approached the end of the hall, bringing his hand down on the door quickly. Joonmyun answered, lazily rubbing his eye and yawning.

“Aah Minseok, waking somebody up with such a loud knock at this time of night. Don’t you know we-  _ Aish!  _ Hey!” Joonmyun felt Minseok push past him, into his room as he closed it behind him. “Guess I’m lucky I didn’t have anybody over tonight. What’s wrong with you?”

“The bosses.” Minseok began quickly, pacing back and forth in the room. “The higher-ups, they know. They know!” He quirked his brows and threw his hands up. “They know, Joonmyun.”

“They know? Know about what?”

“Lu Han’s father brought him back to pay his debts. I heard the others talking about it, I-I heard Amber say something about Lu Han a while back, and  _ that’s  _ why Lu Han came back.”

“Okay?” Joonmyun said flatly.

“His father told the higher-ups Lu Han is alive!” Minseok shouted, Joonmyun’s eyes widening after a moment of allowing the words to sink in. He swallowed hard, a visible movement in his throat as he shook his head. “His father must have known what a bounty his son had, that’s why he brought him back, and now they know. Where’s the first place they’re bound to look?! Under rocks? In caves? No, they’ll be crawling around this place to find him. We-- I can’t just let them find him! Not after everything.”

“Minseok, if they find you protecting him, you’ll be killed.” Joonmyun lowered his voice so only the two could hear his voice. “We can’t risk it again. Not after last time. It’s too much.”

“I won’t throw him to the wolves. Do you think the others want to leave him this way? Hopeless? Alone?” Minseok said, shaking his head. “If they wanted to be rid of him, Kyungsoo and Jongin would have killed him and taken the bounty for themselves. You know how they are! Money is the first thing on their mind.”

“And all of you call  _ me  _ a rich boy.” Joonmyun ran his hands through his hair. “But you’re not wrong.”

Joonmyun narrowed his eyes at Minseok, his expression serious while his chest heaved up and down with anxious breaths. Minseok always had a predisposition to worry and be anxious about anything he possibly could. It made Joonmyun wondered what a guy like him ended up doing to be involved with the rest of the gang. Jongdae once joked that Minseok followed him into the gang because he had that sort of a temperament to be a follower, but there had to have been something more to it than that. Minseok never seemed like a follower, but rather, a wayward person. He moved from person to person in the gang, and while he got along with each one in their own separate way, Minseok had never bonded with anybody the way he had with Lu Han. They became friends instantly, and their jokes were lighthearted, and to be fairly honest, adorable. It was something more than the way Kyungsoo and Jongin clinged to one another protectively, or how Joonmyun naturally joked with Jongdae and the two shared something close. None of them cared about who was with who, but it seemed like Lu Han and Minseok quickly fell into their “relationship.” 

Of course it didn’t sit well with all of them. Sehun had definitely taken the most offense to it, though they all knew it was because he and Lu Han had something of a past together. Sehun acted as if Lu Han belonged to him, so the rest of the members stayed out of it. Even on this particular night where Sehun took out his frustrations on Lu Han, they watched in stunned silence. Lu Han didn’t deserve any of what Sehun brought down on him, and yet none of them could bring themselves to stop him. Not even Joonmyun, who claimed to be the leader of their chapter. What sort of a leader was he if he couldn’t stop Sehun from going too far? Joonmyun huffed in annoyance.

“Well? What were you thinking of doing?”

Minseok couldn’t help smiling for a split second before he focused himself once more. This was no time to lose his resolve. If anything, he would have to really buckle down now and put his mind to finding a way to keep Lu Han safe. He’d do anything. He said he’d give his life. He meant it. Minseok knew the others wanted to help as well. They were the type to swear that kind of thing and then hesitate later on, but Minseok would never. That was why he was so forceful about it now.

“Do you still have your villa in Daegu?”

“Of course.” Joonmyun felt a smile appear on his own face as he held a hand up to his chest. “What kind of a rich boy would I be if I didn’t?”

What felt like hours passed until Lu Han heard quick knocks in succession on the door. Not thinking properly, he scampered to the door and opened it quickly with only enough space for his eye to peer out of. A dark mess of hair unlike Minseok’s greeted him, followed by the intense eyes of Oh Sehun. Lu Han shoved the door, but Sehun had already begun to push his way in, making only enough space to work himself into the room, then slamming it behind him. Cowering would do no good now, Lu Han knew that. If this had been any other time in the past, Lu Han thought he would have been able to take Sehun with no problem. While he may have never really been as masculine as he thought he was, Lu Han had more bite in him than others originally thought. Sehun closed in on him, gaze serious and eyes intense as he lifted his hand to Lu Han’s jaw. Just before their skin touched, he pulled away and instead looked away from Lu Han. Lu Han stood as tall as he possibly could in his spot.

“Sehun, please.” Lu Han said, willing his voice to steady, to keep from melting into a stuttering mess. “Don’t do this.”

“Do what?” Sehun snapped.

“Minseok said he’d be back soon.”

“Are you relying on Kim Minseok to protect you?” Sehun said. “That’s pathetic.”

“I’m not relying on anybody to protect me.” Lu Han spat, shoving Sehun enough to catch him off guard. Lu Han was only one inch shy of Sehun’s height, but in that moment, he towered over him. Sehun narrowed his eyes. “Not Minseok. Not anybody in this place. Me and you.” Lu Han gestured towards Sehun. “You want to hurt me? Go ahead. Try.”

“What do you mean “try”? Did you not see what I did to you out there?”

“While I was tied up.” Lu Han huffed. “Tied up, gagged. You may as well have kicked me while I was down. But I’m not afraid of you, Oh Sehun.”

“You don’t deserve to be here.” Sehun replied. “Why should you live while Zitao and Yifan are dead?”

Lu Han swallowed hard. Hearing the words reopened the wound.

“You’re just like the rest of them. You’re weak. You wanted to leave all of this.” Sehun gestured towards the room. “All of this, for what? For a family that gave you up for a debt?”

“You don’t scare me.” Lu Han repeated, pushing his sleeves up and steeling himself in place.

The door behind them opened, Minseok standing in the doorway before he cleared his throat. Sehun turned to him, his expression cold. Minseok didn’t look fazed by it either. He pointed a thumb in the direction of the stairs.

“Beat it.”

Sehun left without much more of a fight. Minseok had strength and stamina, and with Lu Han there, Sehun didn’t feel like fighting off the both of them. Instead, he stormed off in the direction of his room and slammed the door behind him.

“Che, what a kid.” Minseok grumbled, closing his own door and rubbing his neck. “Here.” Minseok pulled out a wallet from his pocket, Lu Han rushing for it and finding his ID, cards, and money in place, as it had been before Kyungsoo and Jongin found him. Minseok took a moment to ogle at Lu Han’s reaction, his eyes wide and a smile on his face. “I wouldn’t be too excited. If the higher-ups know that you’re alive, they’ll be tracing anything on you, cards included. That ID should never be shown to anybody while you’re here in Seoul.”

“Where’d you find all of this?” Lu Han said excitedly.

“Kyungsoo and Jongin. They were debating taking money from you, but they said all you had was 20,000 won. Didn’t seem worth it.”

Lu Han knew Jongin and Kyungsoo didn’t take it because they cared for him. Minseok knew it too.

“They’re all waiting in the quarters.” Minseok said. “Joonmyun and Jongdae and all them. Sounds like Joonmyun is calling Sehun down now too.”

“O-oh. Are they angry at me?” Lu Han said, bracing himself. “Should I stay in here?”

“They want to see you.” Minseok said. “Talk to you.”

“They hate me, don’t they?” Lu Han mumbled lowly. Minseok’s heart tore in two at the sound of Lu Han’s vulnerable voice. He rarely used that tone with Minseok, and only showed it when he was truly upset. Lu Han never liked to cry when he was sad or distressed, so he choked tears back and instead felt open and vulnerable instead. He hated it. Minseok knew he hated feeling this way.

Minseok carefully plotted his footsteps to Lu Han, counting the pulse of his heart in his veins while he slowly made his way, until they were close. Lu Han sniffled, lifting a hand up to his face. Minseok shook his head, pulling his hand away.

“Don’t, it’s ugly.” Lu Han referred to the cuts on his face.

“How dare you call yourself ugly.” Minseok cooed, carefully lifting Lu Han’s gaze from the ground by pulling his chin up, their eyes locking. “I’m the only one allowed to do that, Lu-ge.” He laughed, Lu Han managing a smile as he noticed the pain in his cheek increase with each crook of his lips. He didn’t want to seem insincere though, and even mustered up a laugh. Minseok reached over, cradling his cheek with the feather light touch of his palm. “Only kidding. I wouldn’t call you ugly. This isn’t ugly either.”

“It isn’t attractive.” Lu Han grumbled again. “It hurts.”

“I know.” Minseok said. “If I could take the pain, I would.”

“So cheesy. Which drama did you steal that line from?” Lu Han commented. Minseok laughed again, his same gummy smile that he had years and years before. Lu Han loved it. God, he’d give anything to make Minseok smile that way for the rest of his life.

“Sehun didn’t hurt you more, did he?”

“N-no.” Lu Han whispered lowly. “No, he didn’t. But I could’ve taken him. He doesn’t scare me.”

“I wouldn’t want you trying to fight him in this condition.” Minseok’s other hand ran along Lu Han’s arm, which tensed through the fabric of his bunched up shirt. “Though you seemed to have gotten bigger since the last time I saw you.” Shivers worked their way through Lu Han’s body, and he nodded. “Some muscles!”

“Have you seen yourself?” Lu Han said, Minseok blushing lightly at the quiet proclamation. “Your arms are huge.”

“Yeah, well, it happens after a couple of years apart.” Minseok continued, though he noticed the way Lu Han’s expression faltered, the easygoing look in his eyes turning into a gleam of frustration. “Hey, Lu-ge, I was kidding. Don’t be sad.”

“Sorry.”

Minseok pressed his forehead to Lu Han’s and savored the warmth of his skin against Minseok’s own. Lu Han let his eyes settle on Minseok’s plump lips, tracing the edges, dips and curves of them before he parted his and let his breath ghost over Minseok’s skin. They stayed like that, Minseok hesitantly moving his hands from his sides and with feather light touches, and Lu Han encouraging him with slight nods of his head.

“Minseok, kiss me already.” Lu Han whispered, and Minseok nodded, carefully leaning forward. He didn’t want to hurt Lu Han, make his lips ache any more from Sehun’s actions earlier, but his heart screamed at him to make the move before they ended up having to go downstairs in front of the others. Once they went down to talk with the rest of them, he knew that would be the beginning of something dangerous, and far bigger than they could comprehend. Lu Han impatiently dipped his head lower to catch Minseok’s lips between his own, ignoring the stinging pain in his bottom lip as he felt Minseok tense, then relax and work his lips languidly against Lu Han’s own. Minseok’s hands rested on Lu Han’s neck, holding him tightly while his fingers played with Lu Han’s long curly hair. Curiously, Lu Han took a step back, and Minseok chased after him. He missed that. He missed that feeling of being wanted, needed. Another step. The back of his knees hit Minseok’s bed. Minseok pulled away for a short breath, and then leaned in again, Lu Han tugging them back again, falling on the bed with a quiet noise. Minseok’s forehead hit Lu Han’s chin, Minseok pulling away with wide eyes.

“I’m sorry!”

“It’s okay.” Lu Han shook his head.

“N-no, I’m going to hurt you. C’mon, we should just get downstairs.” Minseok moved to stand up, but Lu Han caught him by his wrist and pulled him down again, their lips meeting in a crash of limbs and apologies. Lu Han swallowed each apology with a quiet noise, appreciating the sentiment, but wanted Minseok to kiss him like he meant it.

Lu Han pulled away, mouthing at Minseok’s jaw and peppering chaste kisses along his throat. Lu Han could feel Minseok’s breathing slow, heavy breaths escaping him only when Lu Han touched him. Finally, Lu Han reached the crook of Minseok’s neck. Gentle ministrations of his lips on his throat made Minseok groan lowly, heart stopped in his chest as he whined. Lu Han hastily lifted his face and kissed Minseok, slipping his tongue into Minseok’s mouth and earning a sharp whimper of surprise. Minseok protested lowly, trying to get a few words out to warn Lu Han about hurting his mouth more than he already had, but they all dissolved away in the back of his mind.

“Lu-ge,” Minseok whispered between their kisses, pulling away and earning a dissatisfied noise from Lu Han, “this isn’t the time or the place. We have to get you out of here. I have to keep you safe.”

“I know.” Lu Han replied sadly. “But for now, can’t we just...?”

“For now, we have to see the others and find a way to get you out of Seoul. I’m going to do whatever it takes to get you back home.”

“Minseok, I don’t want to go back.” Lu Han objected. Minseok shook his head.

“You’re just saying that because you’re scared.”

“And I’m scared because I wasn’t safe in Beijing with the two people I thought I’d be the safest with.” Lu Han admitted. “Wouldn’t you be scared if your parents did something like that to you? Wouldn’t you want to find someplace that was safer than that?”

“And where is safer than home?” Minseok said impatiently.

“With you.” Lu Han said. Minseok’s cheeks flushed, and he sat up quickly after nudging Lu Han off of him, running his hands through his bleached light brown hair. Lu Han liked that color on him, but then again, he liked most colors on Minseok. They always dyed their hair different colors and cut and styled it in new ways to keep their image fresh and hidden from the police, as well as other gangs who may be looking for them. Seoul had so many different gangs, it was hard to keep an identity hidden for more than a couple of months, a year if they were lucky. Lu Han’s hair was healthy and long, very different from when he was in the gang before. He remembered it being damaged and breaking before he left. “I didn’t mean to argue with you.” Lu Han apologized lowly. “Let’s go downstairs.”

Minseok stood up, reaching his hand out for Lu Han and their fingers lightly touching one another’s as Lu Han stood up. Minseok pulled Lu Han close, looking up at him once more before their lips touched. Lu Han grew accustomed to the slight pain in his bottom lip, the throbbing of his pulse, he’d endure all of the pain if Minseok would continue kissing him this way. Lu Han parted his lips again, loving the way Minseok relaxed into his touch. Comparing kisses to anything other than a kiss felt like it would never truly measure up, but with Minseok, it was much like biting into a ripe peach: messy, soft, tender, and as ridiculous as it sounded, Minseok tasted  _ delicious _ . Minseok cautiously pulled away, Lu Han chasing him even after Minseok placed his index finger between their lips once more. Minseok knew if he kissed Lu Han again, he wouldn’t be able to stop himself.

“C’mon.” Minseok urged. He knew what he said was meant for both of them, a reminder to go down before they moved any further. They did have to rush  _ now _ . It seemed like the higher-ups didn’t know about Lu Han quite yet, but they would soon, and Minseok didn’t feel like seeing Kibum and Jinki anytime soon. Sometimes they sent Amber and Jaebeom, and those two were even worse than Kibum and Jinki. They had loud mouths and louder actions, and Minseok admitted there had been a few times where he got into fights with Jaebeom, despite trying his best to shy away from him. Jaebeom didn’t belong in their chapter anyways. Some outsider trying to rough him up? Amber didn’t bother Minseok so much. They used to get along so well, but the time apart had changed them as people, so Minseok didn’t expect her to act any different towards him as she did with others.

They headed downstairs, Minseok leading the way until they reached the quarters. Lu Han finally had a chance to study the room. Oddly enough, he had heard chickens before Sehun had hit him, but it seemed they were out of sight now, or maybe he was imagining them for whatever reason. The long table they sat at previously was now occupied by all of them from end-to-end, Joonmyun situated in the middle with Jongdae on one side, and Sehun on the other. Lu Han stopped short just at the bottom of the stairs while Minseok approached the table without hesitation. Joonmyun gestured towards a seat across from him, beside Minseok. Without realizing he had done it, Lu Han’s eyes flickered towards Sehun, and Joonmyun shook his head.

“He won’t do anything. That’s why he’s sitting beside me. Come on now. We don’t have time to screw around.”

Lu Han nodded and sat down, his fingers shaking before he felt Minseok nudge him with his elbow. The corners of his lips perked up in a smile, and Minseok knew if it didn’t hurt Lu Han to do so, he would smile back. Instead, they turned their attention to the quiet table, Joonmyun eyeing all of them before Jongin groaned loudly and leaned back in his seat.

“Well? Are we just going to sit here?”

“You know very well what we’re here for.” Kyungsoo muttered. Jongin rolled his eyes and ran a hand through his hair.

“Well, yeah.” Jongin said. “He’s supposed to be  _ dead _ .” He gestured towards Lu Han, earning a quick defensive shift from Minseok, but Lu Han placed his hand on Minseok’s and stopped him. He also opted to pretend he didn’t hear the noise of dissatisfaction from Sehun at their affectionate movements. “We “killed” him years ago. What’s he doing back?”

“More importantly, what do we do with him now?” Joonmyun interrupted. “All of us know he has the biggest bounty on his head. Unless we come up with a distraction, the higher-ups are going to know he’s alive soon. We have to get him out of here.”

“A distraction?” Chanyeol said, nudging Baekhyun beside him. Baekhyun already knew a crude joke was coming. “Let’s take the heat off of “dead” Lu Han by finding “missing” Zitao since we’re having such luck finding runaway members. That’d be quite a distraction.”

“That’s not funny.” Jongdae interjected. The topic was still touchy with all of them. What happened to Yifan was practically off limits, so the wound with Zitao was still fresh. Minseok tensed at Jongdae’s words. Jongdae never acted confrontational, but when he did, he was serious. That was when they all knew the joke had gone too far, even Chanyeol could admit it was a bad one. He would never apologize outright though, and instead sneered at Jongdae.

“ _ Aigoo _ , so sensitive. Nobody asked if it was funny. It’s the truth. If this boy can come back to life, we can surely find Zitao hidden away in Seoul.” Chanyeol shot back. The two glared at one another before Joonmyun cleared his throat. Jongdae’s parted lips quickly clamped shut as Joonmyun opened his mouth to speak.

“Not to be rude,” Yixing interrupted before Joonmyun could get a word out, “but why would we risk our lives a second time for an idiot that came back to Seoul despite us begging him to never even  _ think  _ of us again?” There it was, Yixing’s attitude. Lu Han bit his lip.

“Look, he knows that he fucked up, but his father told him the problem had been taken care of. He trusted him, and that isn’t anybody’s fault.” Minseok was quick to defend Lu Han against Yixing’s sharp words, but Lu Han leaned forward.

“I didn’t come back for this reason, but a part of me hoped I could see you guys again.” Lu Han admitted, quickly earning a collective groan from the entire group. “ _ Aish _ , you all act as if it’s easy to run away from the only family you’ve ever known! Yeah, I shouldn’t have come back, but would any of you have had an easier time abandoning everything the way I did?”

“You  _ asked  _ to abandon it all.” Jongin tapped a pair of cards on the table in front of him. “You asked, and we gave it to you. I think any idiot that wants to come back after that deserves to die.”

“Why didn’t you kill me when you found me?” Lu Han challenged. Jongin stuttered quickly. “After all, you would’ve been rid of me faster. We wouldn’t be having this conversation right now if you had just killed me and taken me to the bosses.” Kyungsoo nodded along with Lu Han’s words.

“It’s true. We didn’t want to kill you.”

“Eh? Hyung, you’re supposed to be on my side!” Jongin pushed Kyungsoo, earning a glare from him. “He’s done nothing but cause us trouble, and now he’s back to cause more! Be firmer with him.”

“I don’t know about Jongin, but I hoped nobody found out Lu Han was alive so we could bring him here instead of to the higher-ups.” Kyungsoo admitted lowly. Jongin rolled his eyes. “That was why I brought him back. You know that’s why, Jongin.”

“Well, I guess we’re being the bigger people now. All right, yes, I did want to bring him back here first. But-! If the money was nice enough, I was planning on maybe, possibly, perhaps giving him up.”

“No you weren’t.” Kyungsoo corrected.

“Let me have this moment, hyung.” Jongin said pleadingly, quiet laughter spreading from one end of the table to the other. Even Sehun cracked a smile at their banter. Joonmyun hushed them again.

“They’ll be here soon. Either the bosses themselves, or Kibum and Jinki. Maybe Minho and Taemin as well.”

“Taemin is about as scary as a porcelain doll.” Sehun tacked on.

“But he’s observant. They know if Lu Han is alive, the first place he’d come to is his old gang. So we have to be ready for them. All of them.” Jongdae said. “And if it’s Amber and Jaebeom, expect everything to be torn apart.”

“God, I loathe Jaebeom.” Minseok said. Lu Han smiled weakly at his words. “No tact at all. Just brutality.”

“I almost prefer Taemin staring at me for twenty minutes.” Baekhyun spoke up now, widening his eyes and imitating Taemin’s serious gaze. “Does he think he’s staring into our souls or something? It freaks me the hell out.”

“He can tell it scares you by seeing it in your eyes. That’s why he stares so intensely!” Yixing grinned while widening his eyes with his words, the rest of them laughing at how ridiculous Taemin acted, but they really were intimidated by him. He had more power than any of them could imagine having in their lifetime. He just did ridiculous things from time to time that confused most of them.

Lu Han wouldn’t say it out loud, but  _ this _ , moments like these were what he missed the most. Friends in Beijing didn’t make the same jokes his old friends did, didn’t tease him and gossip about others, making them sound like catty old women all the time. The split seconds of smiles thrown towards him erased the pain in his cheek. For a moment, his gaze ventured upwards towards Sehun, and their eyes met. Sehun looked away after Lu Han gave him the shortest, smallest smile he had ever seen. He didn’t deserve that smile.

“We’re going to get Lu Han to my villa in Daegu. It’s out of our jurisdiction, and my friends down there should be able to help keep him safe long enough to find a way to get him home.”

“Your friends?” Chanyeol said. “You mean Yoongi and Namjoon and them?”

“Yeah.” Joonmyun said, watching as Chanyeol rolled his eyes. “What is the problem with trusting them?”

“I don’t have a problem, just feels like you’re putting a lot of faith in a clique that’s 1/6th the size of ours. What can they protect? A kitten?”

“It’s not about the numbers they have. It’s about what they control. Daegu controls most traffic that goes through Seoul. If they wanted, Yoongi could shut it down with the snap of his fingers. Our bosses won’t send Kibum or Jinki to snoop around in Daegu unless they want to risk shutting down their best routes.”

“I have a run to make in Daegu.” Jongdae spoke up, and Joonmyun nodded knowingly. “That’s what you called us down here for.”

“We have to keep this as inconspicuous as possible. We’ll hide him in the trunk again, or maybe in the backseat. As long as you don’t get stopped, nobody should notice. Since Jongdae is scheduled to go to Daegu for a run anyways, it’d be best to make the two trips into one. Cut down on suspicion.”

“You want  _ me  _ to take him?” Jongdae clarified. “Why not you? It’s  _ your  _ villa.”

“The bosses will notice if we send somebody else who isn’t meant to go. All you have to do is take him to Daegu city limits. I’ve already spoken with Yoongi, he said he’d have no problem picking up Lu Han and taking him off your hands just outside of Daegu.” Joonmyun furrowed his brows. “If any of us leave and they send Kibum or Jinki, they will want an explanation. What will we tell them?”

“We don’t owe them anything.” Sehun barked. “If anything, we’re allowed to do whatever the hell we want, whenever the hell we want.”

“What makes you trust Yoongi so much anyways?” Jongdae said, though it was directed at Joonmyun, and only Joonmyun. The two looked at one another, eyes meeting and Joonmyun giving Jongdae a knowing expression.

“He doesn’t care about money the way others in this place do. He and Namjoon are different than most of the others.”

“Che.” Jongdae looked away in irritation. “Not everybody cares about money, just fame. Yoongi is just that person. All about fame.”

“You sound jealous.” Jongin laughed. Jongdae mimicked him with a childish, high-pitched tone of voice.

“Be serious! We risked our lives to get Lu Han out of this place one time before, and we held our silence. But if one of us speaks now,” Joonmyun shot his gaze to Sehun, “or appears suspicious in any way, we’ll all be caught, and we’ll all end up like Yifan and Zitao. Is that understood?” Joonmyun looked at Chanyeol. “We will all be “amazing missing people” if any of us show any sign that Lu Han was here.” Finally Joonmyun settled on Minseok. He was the most vulnerable of them all to showing Lu Han had been there. “We all are responsible now for one another’s lives.”

“I know.” Minseok mumbled.

“Do you really understand the severity of the situation?” Joonmyun grilled Minseok further.

“I do, all right? And all of you didn't have to help me. You all could've denied, but here you are, so you must want to help him more than you would like to admit.”

And it was true. As much as they pretended all of this was some sort of an inconvenience, they could have denied help, acted as if they didn't know Lu Han was actually still alive, and turned him in the for money. But they didn't.

Kyungsoo shifted in his seat. “So Jongdae is taking him?”

“I want to go too.” Minseok said. Joonmyun immediately shook his head.

“Did you not just hear me? We can’t risk looking suspicious.”

“But Jongdae and I are close!” Minseok objected. “They won’t suspect me slipping off with him because Jongdae and I are friends. I’ve done it before, I can do it now without looking suspicious.”

“The answer is no. You’ll be the first one they’ll want to see as soon as they find out Lu Han is alive.” Joonmyun stood up after pushing his seat out, straightening his clothes. Jongdae stood up, keys in his hands as he jingled them in Lu Han’s direction. Lu Han swallowed thickly, nodding and standing up with him. Minseok scrambled to his feet as well. “Jongdae, when do you leave?”

“Twenty minutes?” Jongdae said. “Jaebum and the others told me to be there by 2:00 am, so we’d better get going if we want to get to Daegu with time to spare.

“Do you need Yoongi’s contact? To let him know when you’re there? And do you remember what to say at the toll booths?”

“Of course I do.” Jongdae waved Joonmyun’s concerns away. “I’m not a child, stop babying me.”

Despite his reassurances, Joonmyun couldn’t help but worry about Jongdae. If there was anybody in the entire gang that he would want to protect with his whole being, it would have been Jongdae. Joonmyun pushed away his hesitations and watched as Jongdae mumbled something lowly to Lu Han, and then the two disappeared upstairs. Joonmyun figured they would be talking about a way to keep Lu Han hidden in the car. Wearing all black and sitting in the back seat was an option, but too obvious, and the trunk seemed almost too risky. Thankfully, Jongdae had installed new seats only a while back, where the tops of the seats moved like a lid, and inside of the seats was a space, definitely enough for Lu Han to squeeze into. The thought of being in such a cramped spot for so long definitely made Joonmyun anxious and antsy, but he knew Lu Han would deal better with that sort of thing.

“We’ll meet back here before Jongdae leaves. Clean up any traces of Lu Han down here and in your rooms, if there are any.” Joonmyun ordered, voice booming and loud. “If they find anything that shows he was here, we’re dead.”

The others scattered at Joonmyun’s words. Jongin and Kyungsoo cleaned up the traces of blood on the expensive marble floor, Lu Han having spattered it across the floor whenever Sehun hit his bleeding mouth. Sehun, however, had not budged from his seat at the table. Minseok dared to look at him, their expressions serious as Minseok resisted his need to jump across the table and hit him. Sehun shifted in his seat, clearly uncomfortable.

“You’d better go upstairs and fix your room, remove any traces Lu Han was there.” Sehun said, though there was no spite or venom behind his words. Minseok faltered. “When they come, they’ll know to check you first. You put bandages on him. Where are the wrappers?”

“Jongdae threw them in the incinerator. You should clean up too.” Minseok said, noticing the way Sehun tensed at his words. “They’ll be interested in you just as much as they will be in me.”

Sehun stood up, his eyes glued to his knuckles. They had bruised after hitting Lu Han, blood dried in the creases of his skin. If Minseok hadn’t mentioned to take care of himself, he never would have noticed. Despite that fact, Sehun didn’t thank him and simply retreated to the kitchen in the far corner of the quarters to wash his hands.

“Hyung, did we leave anything of Lu Han’s in the car?” Jongin said. Kyungsoo shrugged. The two disappeared outside after cleaning up the floor and removing the old chair they used for Lu Han. The mansion looked cleaner than before Lu Han came in. Chanyeol and Baekhyun relaxed on the couches. Minseok didn’t bother to chide them for it. They definitely didn’t have any evidence of Lu Han since they had hardly spoken to him. Yixing nudged Minseok, catching his attention.

“Do you need help cleaning up your room?” He nodded in response to Yixing’s question. They headed upstairs slowly. It had been a long while since Minseok and Yixing had spent more than a few minutes with one another. They used to be so close, but both of them were equally distracted with their own careers to worry about the others. Minseok was, of course, in charge of dealing with shipments and moving product across Seoul, while Yixing found himself in the throws of it all. He dealt with protective services of other members who needed it, like Taemin and Jonghyun. Yixing had even managed to catch glimpses of fabled gang members Minseok had only ever heard of, Jiyong and Seunghyun. Apparently they were practically the heads of their own chapter, one Joonmyun’s clique had never once challenged. Their careers had such different paths that Minseok was surprised they even had chances to see each other in the morning and at night, sometimes only once a day.

Finding themselves with a moment together, Yixing sighed loudly and stretched his arms over his head. First, they had to focus on Minseok’s bed. Lu Han had been lying there, so they made the bed quickly. Minseok had been itching to do this, fingers tugging lightly on his sheets and fixing them in place until it looked the way it always did after he woke up in the morning. For extra measure, Yixing grabbed a cologne of Minseok’s from the bathroom and sprayed it on the bed to get rid of any of Lu Han’s scent. He spritzed a little on Minseok too, Minseok groaning and waving his hand after Yixing sprayed it one too many times. Lu Han hadn’t done much, but there was still the garbage bag of blood outside of Minseok’s room. Yixing carried it downstairs to the incinerator just beside the kitchen.

What felt like an eternity passed until Yixing returned upstairs. Most of the others had already made their way back downstairs, Jongdae and Lu Han standing at the door and waiting for Minseok and Yixing to show up so they could properly say goodbye. Joonmyun called their names upstairs, Yixing nodding silently in the direction of the door.

“I know.” Minseok said. Yixing frowned.

“You aren’t saying goodbye for good. Why the long face?”

“I just....” Minseok nearly stomped his foot in frustration when he couldn’t find the words to articulate how he felt. Yixing waited patiently for him. “It feels like last time.”

A soft hand touched his shoulder, Minseok relaxing into the warmth of the palm of his hand. Yixing didn’t say anything, simply squeezing his hand around Minseok’s shoulder before pulling on him, leading him to the door. Minseok shook his head.

“I can’t say goodbye for a second time.”

“Kim Minseok, get downstairs and take responsibility for the boy you saved one time before.” Yixing ordered. Minseok furrowed his brows at Yixing’s forceful words, but the two glaring at one another ended up appearing funnier than it was. Minseok burst into a quiet laugh, and Yixing into a grin while chuckles escaped him. Yixing pointed in the direction of the door, opening it up.

“Ladies first.”

Once downstairs, Joonmyun, Jongdae, and Lu Han stood at the door. Lu Han had been changed into a pair of Jongdae’s old clothes, though they were short on his long limbs. It didn’t matter though. All he needed was to blend in with the darkness of the car, of the pitch black material on the seats of Jongdae’s seats. Minseok stepped forward, Lu Han lurching out of his place and walking towards him as well. The others let out a collective groan when they hugged, but chuckled afterwards and gave the two whatever space they needed. Even Sehun gave a small smile to Lu Han when he peeked past Minseok towards him. Sehun felt guilty just giving him that smile, though Lu Han appreciatively smiled back at him and buried his face into Minseok’s shoulder once more.

“Jongdae, please take care of him.” Minseok said.

“Yeah, yeah.” Jongdae said, opening the front door. “C’mon, Jaebum said he wants me there on the dot.”

“Is Jaebum your master?” Joonmyun joked. Jongdae shot him a sly smile.

“Curiosity killed the cat.”

“Satisfaction brought it back.” Jongin tacked on the last part.

“If you feel uncomfortable with him in the back, please put him in the seat.” Joonmyun said. Jongdae turned back to him, quirking a brow and giving him that smile he was so well known for. “Don’t act suspicious and take care of yourselves, not just him.”

“Kim Joonmyun, are you worried about me?”

“No.” Joonmyun replied quickly. Jongdae winked at him, then gestured impatiently towards Lu Han and Minseok. “Let’s go! Don’t have all day.” Jongdae rushed Lu Han, who pecked a kiss on Minseok’s cheek and returned to Jongdae’s side. The two disappeared outside, the door swinging shut as the others sighed and went their own ways. Minseok rubbed his neck, cracking it after a second and appreciating the way he relaxed. They would all be on edge until they found out whether or not the higher-ups knew about Lu Han and if they would be tearing the mansion apart to find him. All of them felt confident they had erased every trace of Lu Han. The only thing that remained were their memories, but they had told larger lies than this one, so it would be no problem for all of them to hold their silence. The looming absence of Lu Han felt worse this time though. Minseok’s heart ached, his stomach tied in knots, and his followed the beating of a drum. Everything was different this time. Lu Han wouldn’t be back home, safe with his family as he originally was. He wouldn’t be separated by water and thousands of miles of land. Now the only people keeping him safe were some friends of Joonmyun’s, and the thin metal walls of Jongdae’s car. Feeling small, Minseok turned to retreat to his room. His heavy feet dragged underneath him, eyes flickering from the ground to the stairs, the ceiling, his feet again. A faint voice brought Minseok back. Chanyeol sat at the couch with Baekhyun again, the two settling in their spots and relaxing against the couch cushions.

“Minseok, stay down here with us.”

“And what?” Minseok said.

“Relax. Try to look normal when Kibum and Jinki show up.”

“If it’s not them?”

“Then stay down here so we can start a fight with Jaebeom and Amber.” Baekhyun grinned. Minseok couldn’t help smiling, joining the two on the couch. Baekhyun stretched his legs out over Minseok’s lap, lying back and resting his head in Chanyeol’s lap. Chanyeol’s fingers easily found their way into Baekhyun’s hair.

“Che, your hair is so greasy.” Chanyeol said. “When was the last time you showered?” Baekhyun pursed his lips. “You had to think about it, that’s gross.”

“Don’t shame me.” Baekhyun said before looking back up at Chanyeol. “Keep running your fingers through. It felt nice.”

Chanyeol continued his small ministrations, fingers settling in Baekhyun’s brown hair and turning his gaze to the television Minseok had turned on.

Moments like these made Minseok feel like this was the youth experience he had missed after joining the gang at such a young age. Sure, he wouldn’t have been able to meet Chanyeol or Baekhyun if he hadn’t joined the gang, but there was a part of him that regretted his decision. Being a part of this family forced them all to sacrifice a part of their innocence. Sitting on the couch and watching TV seemed like such a foreign activity, especially with how packed their schedules were, and the tender touches Chanyeol gave Baekhyun seemed too intimate for people like them. What changed them, Minseok wondered. What turned them into the people they were today? Did they miss their past lives? Would they give it up for lazy days spent in calm homes and late nights sharing secrets? Minseok would. Minseok would give everything for a normal life.

“Minseok hyung is thinking too much.” Baekhyun said quietly.

He was.

“Relax while you can.” Chanyeol continued the thought. “A chance like this only comes every now and then.”

So Minseok did. He relaxed into the couch underneath him and pulled Baekhyun’s legs closer. His eyes settled on the TV, on whatever drama he had turned on and laughed when Chanyeol and Baekhyun cringed at the awfully cheesy lines. Eventually, Baekhyun repeated them, overzealous tone taking over his voice as he reenacted the lines for Chanyeol.

“I will protect you your whole life!” Baekhyun said, throwing his hand over his forehead.

“Will you be with me?” Chanyeol repeated the same action, the two of them bursting out into laughter and shoving one another before they noticed Minseok was laughing with them.

“What’s so hard about love, Minseok hyung?” Baekhyun reached his hand out towards Minseok. Minseok shook his head, damning them for knowing his weakness. Minseok could finish any Korean drama quote because he had seen them all. He took Baekhyun’s hand in his own, rolling his eyes but giving them that comforting gummy smile only Minseok could manage to look adorable with.

“You simply grab the other’s hand and refuse to let go.” Minseok finished, earning exaggerated triumphant cheers and applause from Chanyeol and Baekhyun. Minseok smacked Baekhyun’s leg and looked away. He never wanted this moment to end. Though he still felt nauseous, queasy beyond belief and anxious as hell, fingers trembling and throat tight, he’d let all of it linger as long as he could have moments like these sometimes. The only person that would make it better would be Lu Han. Even with him gone, he lingered. Minseok could still smell him against his shirt, feel him in his chest and god, he didn’t want to let him go, but he did. He let him go for a second time. And he would have to endure it a third time when it was time to send him home. Where was home? Beijing? Someplace else far from all of them, and his family? Minseok didn’t know. He only remembered what Lu Han said.

“ _ And where is safer than home _ ?”

“ _ With you. _ ”

**Author's Note:**

> i debated turning this into a full on story, but i wanted to test the waters first with a couple of one chapter fics. if i really like this fic, i'll end up turning it into a story, but i'll let it sit for a while. Thank you for reading! And if you found any mistakes, let me know~ I did confuse their stage names with their real names sometimes, but I hope I caught all of those mistakes :') Thanks again!


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